Me and god. the first and the continuous search for the second

When you have a handicap, it is natural to ask yourself the cause and looking at the sky, the question comes addressed to Him who scrutinizes everything and commands everything.

I have had a very difficult relationship with God, because very often the anger in front of the difficulties was vented against him.

I want to clarify that up to the age of 20 I never read the Bible. I live in Modena, which is the land of cars, vinegar making and other things including opera singing. The day of Pavarotti’s funeral was a historic day for Modena, a small city, as Francesco Guccini says, “Flooded by a river of people to celebrate the farewell to a great tenor.”

It was a day in September, the 6th to be exact, after yet another summer spent at home, I was preparing to go back to school and it was a very difficult year, I had lost contact with a friend of mine and I turned my gaze to God, an atheist gaze, but eager for love.

I have launched a challenge to God, asking him for help, always hoped for but never felt in my heart. I have I opened the ear of my heart to Jesus Christ and let myself be guided and from here begins the story of my faith.

I didn’t start going to mass right away, first I needed to figure out who he represented for me, God. He couldn’t be just a genie of the lamp, I refused to live such a faith.

I started to read the Bible and I read the first books of it. An exchange has begun, as when in Mass the bread and wine are offered to God so that it becomes the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Clearly when you speak of conversion, there is a very important change of life, where there were attitudes that they were not related, changes had to be made, but I believe that before a religion with its rites, Christianity is a social idea.

All religions require rites, prayers, songs and hymns, but the socio-economic attitude must correspond to the principles of the doctrine Christian. If I have a company and I exploit the workers by paying them little, make them work hard etc., I cannot have fellowship with Christ. Likewise, if I am a doing nothing because I choose not to (not because they closed my factory) I’m not a Christian.